Do you ever watch reality TV shows and wonder how these women do a million things in one day in full glam and a decent attitude? Today I have zero energy. The thought of layering my face with powder and cream is daunting. I don’t even feel like taking the dog out to pee. Then, I start watching Real Housewives and I feel inadequate and well….lazy. These types of thoughts are the foundation of my addiction. They get me in trouble; I forget I am human. I don’t need to to be the energizer bunny all the freaking time! It’s OKAY to feel drained even though I haven’t gone to work in two months.
While in active addiction, negativity dominated every emotion. In sobriety, it HAS to be an afterthought or else I’d be drinking by noon. I am compulsive and obsessive but today I feel like my mind is running a thousand times faster than my productivity. If only my body could race as fast as my mind. I just have to remember that tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow will be one of those days where I clean the house, grocery shop, exercise, hike with the dog, and cook dinner all with makeup and a big smile.
Disclaimer: I acknowledge that men feel this too. My boyfriend busts his ass every day so we can live comfortably. There are days he wakes up feeling drained and depleted. The only difference is: he can roll out of bed, throw on jeans and be out the door. I’m not saying women need to wear makeup, but it feels like a requirement some days.
One thought on “Is it just me? Or…”
Omg! I’m so happy I ran into this!! You’re such a good writer, I feel what your describing. I’m and alcoholic too and I understand! I see your post on instagram you have completely flipped your life around!!!