The Beast of Bulimia

Bulimia is the disease of shame. The stigma spans beyond disordered eating. It represents disgust and desperation. How could anyone throw up their food? It is appalling and aggressive to the average person. It is easier to confess starving myself than to acknowledge that I have thrown up food. Anorexia is more comprehendible and straight-forward;Continue reading “The Beast of Bulimia”

READ THIS: Before You Judge Me For Going On Dr. Phil

I have always been a closet Dr. Phil junkie. I craved the exaggerated chaos that the show delivered. Watching other people air their dirty laundry made me feel somewhat normal regarding my own mediocre life. Isn’t that partially why we love watching train wrecks on television? Inward pleasure is often derived by watching other peopleContinue reading “READ THIS: Before You Judge Me For Going On Dr. Phil”

Combating Morning Anxiety

This morning I woke up feeling unmotivated and depleted. Intrusive thoughts eroded any incentive that I had to initiate a productive day. The mere thought of dragging myself out of bed seemed debilitating. How am I going to put makeup on, slap a smile on my face and see patients? The monotony of daily lifeContinue reading “Combating Morning Anxiety”

Blacked Out on Reality TV

This blog post is a passage straight out of Chapter 5 of my book, Girl, Wasted. The chapter is titled “Bachelor Pad Blackout,” and describes my alcoholism as it affected my ability to function as a normal contestant on reality TV. On the first day, we were given a challenge that would give the winningContinue reading “Blacked Out on Reality TV”

When I Tell Someone I’m Sober

For years, I refused to use the word “alcoholic” in reference to myself. Today, I use it openly and freely. I love sparking dialogue about addiction to minimize the stigma attached to the disease. This conversation evolves identically every single time and I was wondering if other open alcoholics/addicts have parallel experiences. After dropping theContinue reading “When I Tell Someone I’m Sober”

Drinking on Weekends

This pictures was taken in 2015 while I was living in NYC. This was a pivotal year: I had mastered my denial of alcoholism and life from the outside resembled perfection and fulfillment. In my mind, I was prevailing, I had acquired the ability to sporadically drink alcohol without debilitating consequences. My disease was deludingContinue reading “Drinking on Weekends”

TWO YEARS SOBER

When I initially accepted my alcoholism in 2016, I felt empowered yet misguided. I focused solely on abstaining from alcohol, assuming my problems stemmed from drinking. Wrong. What I failed to understand was that addiction isn’t just a physical dependency—it’s an emotional and mental dependency as well. Whether angry, stressed, or even elated, drinking wasContinue reading “TWO YEARS SOBER”