I Need Answers.

Worldwide, 3 million deaths every year result from harmful use of alcohol. Keep in mind, that’s JUST alcohol— a legal, popular beverage consumed by most Americans. This number doesn’t include other drugs like painkillers, heroin and cocaine. To be inclusive: TOTAL drug use is responsible for 11.8 million deaths worldwide, each year. With these numbersContinue reading “I Need Answers.”

I’m Here For You

Recovery is not about acquiring time. 943 days means absolutely nothing if those days were spent in misery, depression, and disorientation. Recovery is about establishing direction and purpose in one’s life. It’s difficult and unlikely for someone to instill control, aspiration and intent back into their life after it has been derailed. This type ofContinue reading “I’m Here For You”

I Lost Myself

When I first got sober in 2016, I was constantly surrounded by other like-minded people who have struggled with the same demons. My environment consisted of individuals who understood me and who acknowledged the deep pain associated with abruptly terminating self-medicating behaviors. Fast forward to 2018: I move to NJ with my boyfriend and lifeContinue reading “I Lost Myself”

The Beast of Bulimia

Bulimia is the disease of shame. The stigma spans beyond disordered eating. It represents disgust and desperation. How could anyone throw up their food? It is appalling and aggressive to the average person. It is easier to confess starving myself than to acknowledge that I have thrown up food. Anorexia is more comprehendible and straight-forward;Continue reading “The Beast of Bulimia”

READ THIS: Before You Judge Me For Going On Dr. Phil

I have always been a closet Dr. Phil junkie. I craved the exaggerated chaos that the show delivered. Watching other people air their dirty laundry made me feel somewhat normal regarding my own mediocre life. Isn’t that partially why we love watching train wrecks on television? Inward pleasure is often derived by watching other peopleContinue reading “READ THIS: Before You Judge Me For Going On Dr. Phil”

Combating Morning Anxiety

This morning I woke up feeling unmotivated and depleted. Intrusive thoughts eroded any incentive that I had to initiate a productive day. The mere thought of dragging myself out of bed seemed debilitating. How am I going to put makeup on, slap a smile on my face and see patients? The monotony of daily lifeContinue reading “Combating Morning Anxiety”

Blacked Out on Reality TV

This blog post is a passage straight out of Chapter 5 of my book, Girl, Wasted. The chapter is titled “Bachelor Pad Blackout,” and describes my alcoholism as it affected my ability to function as a normal contestant on reality TV. On the first day, we were given a challenge that would give the winningContinue reading “Blacked Out on Reality TV”